About Me

About Me: On Back to School

Back to school is back!

Yay!

In all seriousness, though, while I love everything ” back to school”, I’ve always had quite mixed feelings about the going there, and here’s the reason for that!

On the one hand, back to school season is often seen as synonymous with the end of summer, with no more doing what you want to do at all times anymore. You’re forced in a class room and have to learn everything you’re told, whether it interests you or not.
Me, on the other hand? I actually love learning new stuff, and I’m definitely an autumn- and winter girl (I literally love everything about fall), so none of that really bothers me.

Where, exactly, do the mixed feelings come in then?

The people.

Now, in line with my being something of a cliche quite often: I was bullied in primary school.
To the point that I mastered the trick of making myself actually, physically sick in order not to have to go to school.
And even though I loved my teachers, had some really great friends and absolutely adored learning new things? I disliked at least most of that period.

In secondary school I became the awkward friend.
I liked studying too much to be one of the really popular girls – also, I wasn’t into fashion, boys, or partying enough to get along with them really well – and although we didn’t really have those “cliques” in our school, to the  extent that there was a hierarchy, I got stuck somewhere at the bottom.
Towards the end of high school I was diagnosed with social anxiety, which accounted for at least some part of my general awkwardness in any sort of a social situation, but didn’t really help all that much when trying to make my way through socialness…

Cue university, where most people get a chance to re-invent themselves, and I got a chance to lock myself in a dorm. Gradually, I managed to get better at dealing with people and handling my social anxiety, and I absolutely loved (love) my courses, but yet again, I found the social aspect of it all quite tricky.

Now, with back to school season in full force, I’m finding myself faced with starting out at a new university (because I’m doing an additional master) and in all honesty: this is the first time I’ve actually felt ready for it.

Because, no matter how awkward, and difficult, and sucky, yet at times amazing school has been for me so far – I’ve learned that I can apparently do it.
Because, I’ve already done it for 21 years and I’m still alive aren’t I? And I’ve learned that, although you may struggle along the way, in the end, education is worth it.

Maybe you need to change schools (which I actually did when going from primary to secondary, and again from secondary to university), maybe you need to be home schooled (which I’ve actually opted to do for part of my courses this year), maybe you need to take a pause and figure out what type of ‘education’ you want to take – because a) education is more than just ‘school’ and b) college is not the end-all be-all of further education! – but in the end?

You’re trying to get to a point where you know what you want to do with the rest of your life and you’re able to do that. And for me? The struggle of education is definitely worth it!

-Saar

On Back To School Walking Through The Pages

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